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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30137577">Mokita</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/perryvic/pseuds/perryvic'>perryvic</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caffiends/pseuds/Zaganthi'>Zaganthi (Caffiends)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Emotional Intelligence [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gundam Wing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Assumptions, Banter, Drinking &amp; Talking, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Masturbation, Mental Health Issues, Newtypes (Gundam Wing), Polyamory, Post-Eve Wars (Gundam Wing), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychic Abilities, Quatre Raberba's Uchuu no Kokoro | Space Heart, Quatre is the belle of the ball except not, Sharing a Bed, The Talk, Video Cameras, Voyeurism</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:22:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,688</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30137577</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/perryvic/pseuds/perryvic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caffiends/pseuds/Zaganthi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Heero had tried hard to clean up most of Duo's cameras, but he hadn't gotten all of them. And he hadn't swept Khushrenada's suite; Duo didn't trust the man with Quatre, for all that Quatre had a soft spot for him because the fucker had a sob story. </p><p>Well boohoo, didn't they all? Duo could probably match him trauma for trauma and he was younger than him. Competitive angst, what the hell was he even doing?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Duo Maxwell &amp; Quatre Raberba Winner, Treize Khushrenada/Quatre Raberba Winner, Trowa Barton &amp; Quatre Raberba Winner, Trowa Barton/Chang Wufei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Emotional Intelligence [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186436</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Mokita</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Mokita (n) - (Kivila) the truth we all know but agree not to talk about.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He totally should've volunteered to go to Mars, or to stay with Relena. Except no, he had a pressing feeling that he would lose his goddamn mind if he did that.</p><p>Besides, he had his own mission to make sure Quatre was okay and then there had been that whole thing in the hospital where Quatre had kinda kissed him just a little, and Duo was pretty sure he'd been as high as a kite, but maybe it meant something.</p><p>Maybe it didn't. Maybe he was just worried and sort of wanted to see what was up, and make sure that the most at-risk member of their Cadre wasn't in danger.</p><p>Eh, fuck it, he'd managed not get into a fight with the General Manwhore and that ought to be credit enough for the evening. He went and found more to eat, poked around a bit and then decided to go check on the others. Heero was probably wondering what the hell had happened with Zechs and Treize - Relena was probably about to tear the place down in stress or something and...</p><p>And maybe he ought to check in on his cams he'd left dotted around the place.</p><p>He tucked up into a niche near Heero's little monitoring cell, with a spare piece of cake from the banquet, and pulled out the datapad Noin had made the mistake of giving him. Heero had tried hard to clean up most of his cameras, but he hadn't gotten all of them. And he hadn't swept Khushrenada's suite; Duo didn't trust the man with Quatre, for all that Quatre had a soft spot for him because the fucker had a sob story.</p><p>Well boohoo, didn't they all? He could probably match him trauma for trauma and he was younger than him. Competitive angst, what the hell was he even doing?</p><p>His cameras dotted around were mostly empty with virtually everyone at dinner - he flicked over the stored footage and found a few interesting things he snipped for further inspection later. A couple of private meetings but in the end it was Quatre he wanted to check on.</p><p>Clearly General Manwhore was manipulating Quatre with emotions, which was probably hard to do, but wow the payoff of having a pocket strategist was worth any lies he needed to manufacture.</p><p>He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. Quatre being ridden like a hot blond pony, maybe. Quatre sprawled on his back, getting his dick sucked, not at all.</p><p>It was mesmerizing; he'd seen some porn in his time. Pretty epic stuff actually but, there was something about the movements and...shit, where was the audio feed, he wanted that too.</p><p>He slouched down a little in his hideout, and turned the volume up very low. No words, just groaning and the sound of suction. He was so glad he'd mounted the damn thing on top of the headboard and angled it just right. That was a man who was into what he was doing, stroking at Quatre's skin and focused with the sort of laser focus he'd seen in submissives going to town.</p><p>Every now and then he'd see a glimmer of something around Quatre's hands, and hell yeah, this was prime stuff. Quatre was gorgeous and seeing him being fucking worshipped by the big boss of OZ was something else. That's what it looked like, worship, not what he had imagined and fuck, Quatre sounded amazing.</p><p>Soft moans, so deeply into it. Nobody knew they were on camera, and Duo shifted, closed the door on his little niche, and squirmed a hand down into his pants because oh yeah, Quatre worship, that was kind of a new kink and angle he hadn't thought about.</p><p>He literally froze though at the sight of His Excellency Treize Khushrenada going for a deep throat like it was nothing. Holy fuck, and the sound that Quatre made...it made him shiver into his bones.</p><p>It made him stretch his leg out, fumbling for a moment to get his dick out and the zipper down. That was such a deep soft moan, completely abandoned, and he kept making it every time there was that little swallow noise from the General, like a bit of a choke, and fuck that was going to stay on his number one list of favourite files for a while. His own dick was already leaking precome.</p><p>And holy shit, Quatre was coming and he damn well glowed with it. A literal fucking glow, what the hell...but Treize wasn't done and...</p><p>He was really hung. Wow.</p><p>That was pretty amazing. Maybe it was a requirement for OZ officers to be super hot and hung, pornstar hung. He kept kissing his way up Quatre's body, touching, lingering, sort of zen like worshipping.</p><p>He could imagine that, imagine doing that, and imagine feeling that. He remembered sex with Quatre, something warm and bright, and just...different, but what would it be like with him blissed out.</p><p>It looked like it was really good. They were talking, and Quatre's voice was hard to hear. The General kept kissing, touching Quatre while he still glowed, ebbing a little, and all the camera got was "Strange about that. I'm afraid."</p><p>And dammit he was close to coming and just needed them to play along a little more. He knew what came next, the guy was definitely going to have Quatre on hands and knees.</p><p>That would be what he wanted from him, and Quatre wasn't up for that but...</p><p>He didn't do that, no more than a slow sensual frottage skin to skin.</p><p>Not the escalation Duo expected, but slow and lazy, and okay, hot. It was hot, and there were quiet words being exchanged, and he could see the General getting into his stroke, yeah, and Quatre was glowing.</p><p>He really needed to figure that out.</p><p>He'd never done that before, not as far as he knew anyway and damn, they were hot; he could imagine it, feeling that the slick of skin against skin, the heat of it and an inexorable build towards orgasm.</p><p>All he had was his own hand and that was okay, he knew what was going on, and he was close, enjoying it okay, letting his imagination take him the rest of the way, a little quicker than it took General Manwhore to get off.</p><p>Yeah, that was...not what he'd been expecting to do on his surveillance but, man, you couldn't pass up an opportunity like that. He could find some entertainment but, shit, that had been scorching.</p><p>"Enjoying yourself?"</p><p>"Aww, fuck, man." Heero lurked in the door while he reached up to pull off the stupid uniform tie fluff bullshit to wipe his dick off. "Yeah, yeah, I was. Watching Khushrenada suck dick. You wanna see?"</p><p>"Was he good?" Heero asked with what sounded like professional interest.</p><p>"Fucking amazing. The guy deepthroats effortlessly." He closed the datapad for the moment, cleaning himself up and shooting Heero glances. "I got cake, too. What can I do for you?"</p><p>"You're in my zone," Heero said. "Wondered what you were doing. Wondered if you'd got anything on what happened earlier with Zechs."</p><p>"Quatre put the whammy on him. By accident." Duo shrugged his shoulders, and picked up his cake as he tucked and then zipped his dick sadly into his pants. "Seems like he's hanging out."</p><p>"The empathy power he described? What did it do?" Heero was intent. "Come over here and tell me more." Back to Heero's little HQ in the broom cupboard or whatever it was.</p><p>He stood up reluctantly, and followed after, still wielding his cake. The broom cupboard had a shit ton of screens, enough to make him jealous. "Zechs said he unpicked something in his head. Unwrapped some of the crazy. Khushrenada left to talk with him and seemed to agree, but I don't consider his report back useful. He's unreliable."</p><p>"And how did it happen by ...accident?" he asked as Heero sat at his desk. "Or even how it happened at all."</p><p>"I rolled the video back. They were talking and Zechs touched Quatre's face. Apparently physical contact sparks it off. Maybe he's run out of shit to fix in Khushrenada's head, because they're... definitely touching all the parts." Duo shrugged, and broke off a bit of cake to eat.</p><p>"Hmm, Quatre usually hugs, I had wondered about the change in behaviour," Heero commented and Duo thought back to when he had hugged Quatre when they met up, and that whole thing with Khushrenada and the nose bleed. Huh.</p><p>The question was whether to mention it. He hadn't lied to Heero in... A while, and trust with him was hard won. "I think the General's got something. The nosebleed thing. It's not anywhere near what Quatre does. Could be some fucked up OZ experiment."</p><p>Heero stared at him with that intent assessing gaze of his presumably to see if he was screwing around, but for once he was serious. "Quatre seems to be getting on well with him," he said finally. "Could it be that ability?"</p><p>"Could be. I don't know if it's natural or if it's some device or some other fucked up science... Quatre said it's calming. Like, in the hospital. He said it muted everything. Like if you can make being a soulless bastard a power or something whatever it is. Space heart. Space keeping fucking void, I don't know. How did he keep his daughter from shooting him?" And there was a phrase that probably had never been uttered before on Earth, but that man deserved it.</p><p>"I had wondered if it had been Quatre," Heero commented, rapidly typing up his observations. "Treize spoke to Zechs alone then? I'm genuinely surprised they did not come to blows."</p><p>He didn't sound surprised.</p><p>Maybe just maybe one day he would actually sound surprised instead of just using the word. "No blows. I mean I almost punched the fucker, I will tell you that. Hi, oh hey oh hey I had a camera in the suite, hold on. If they sat down like normal people maybe if I can have something,” so he pulled out his data pad, and flipped back quickly through that feed.</p><p>"I should probably say something about illegal monitoring, but..."</p><p>Looked like their luck was in. There was Zechs getting a drink and the pair of them talking. Score one for Shinigami.</p><p>"Hey, you know what, I was just setting up an extra layer of security for the places where I was staying to protect myself and my people, so you should be thanking me." He turned the sound up, and pivoted the screen so they could both watch. It seemed like normal sad crazy people talk, until general disaster area, who was earning all of his fucking names right now, pulled out his pistol and tried to hand it over. The part that mattered was probably when they were talking about what Quatre did.</p><p>He was way screwed up, more than he thought. Zechs' slightly rattled truth coming out, his self-destructive self coming out.</p><p>"Interesting." Heero said. "Very interesting. He had a definite effect."</p><p>"Oh yeah. Yeah. I guess time will tell if it's good, bad or more crazy, huh?" Duo nudged Heero, letting the video play out.</p><p>"Khushrenada is less stable than he appears. Giving the gun over to someone who tried to kill him was not a bluff," Heero said. "Hmm. So. He has convinced Noin to stay in the short term."</p><p>"Somehow, despite being vastly less stable than he appears." Duo fidgeted with his cake, licking icing off his fingers and ignoring that his hand smelled like dick. It was just gonna be that kind of night. "Last night Quatre put him to bed. Well, the full version is that Quatre and I were talking, and then he perks up like Blue the wonder dog smelling danger, abandons me mid-fucking-conversation, and then comes back 20 minutes later with Khushrenada looking all fucked up and broken and then puts him to bed. And since you said sleight of hand, I don't know what's real or what's some crazy fucked up long game to keep Quatre working for OZ."</p><p>Heero frowned. "It is possible, though Quatre is usually the one to see that pattern. Treize did not look out of control in the coverage."</p><p>Maybe not but trying to hand over a gun with the opportunity for someone to kill you was not the most stable of moves. But then, this was Heero, who practically did that to strangers on the street. Or conversely threatened to kill you.</p><p>Duo took the death threats as almost a sign of affection because once Heero started to say it, you knew he was just trying to fucking pep talk himself into doing it and didn't really have the heart. "Nope, I agree, I'm just saying what I see."</p><p>"You need to really try and see how impactful these abilities of Quatre are," Heero said. "These behaviours of Treize and Zechs are not consistent with the intelligence we had in the war. So there are two possible conclusions; Quatre is being duped, or Quatre is effecting significant change."</p><p>"I don't know, the general always kind of struck me as a suicidal motherfucker and that hasn't changed. I mean we don't know what levels of behind the scene crazy never hit our Intel." Duo closed his data pad and looked at some of the screens. "I'll let you know what I can find out. And if it is Quatre... what do we do?"</p><p>Heero looked at him. "Determine the level of mission risk," he said finally. It was an answer that could mean a lot of things up to and including killing him and that didn't sit well.</p><p>But Heero had come after him once to kill him as a risk, and ended up rescuing him so unless Quatre was becoming some form of monster, he felt that would be the last resort.</p><p>"Okay." He didn't think Quatre was becoming some form of monster.</p><p>Then again, he'd just been literally glowing while getting laid.</p><p>"I best return to the dinner," Heero said, getting up. "Relena will be looking for me and she has been nervous since the attack."</p><p>"I wonder why." He took this as dismissal as well, and headed for the door. Quatre probably was not a threat, but he still had his own concerns... "We're gonna need to talk about what a threat to a mission really looks like. Later."</p><p>Heero nodded and he saw him locking down his surveillance so he probably was doing what he said. Where did that leave him? And how the hell was he going to determine level of risk?</p><p>Hell, a space heart-something Khushrenada was a risk in his book. Duo meandered out into the hallway with his cake remains, feeling thoughtful and weird about assessing a friend as a threat.</p><p>If it was one of the others, okay, he could sort of see that. But Quatre...</p><p>Aside from the whole Zero thing. Duo had his own run-in with it and it had nearly driven him fucking insane in no time and who the hell knew how long Quatre had been in it... and nobody could doubt his remorse. Practically begging Heero to kill him so he could hurry up and go and try and save Trowa. Not a single one of them had come out well from an encounter with Zero, so that pretty much didn't count as evidence of instability so...</p><p>The rest of it, come on. It was more a case of how shitty everyone was being to him. None of the others yet had done as he suggested.</p><p>So he was giving up. If they all wanted to be fucking weird about it, Heero included, fine. Fine. He was half tempted to hunt down Trowa and Wufei, but they were going to be at the banquet, too. Which OZ was apparently sitting out for the night.</p><p>Trowa was likely to be with Wufei - that was something he hadn't mentioned to Quatre yet because, yeah, awkward. They hadn't said anything but he had recordings and apparently they had hooked up. He'd been surprised because he'd thought if Wufei was going to go after anyone with a dick it would be his favourite General Manwhore.</p><p>Still, by comparison, Trowa was quiet, and sane. Duo was still sort of curious what was or had been going on with Wufei and the General, like a weird love hate thing. Wufei had pulled his blow; he'd gone back and watched videos, and Altron had been in full instinctive thrust to crack Tallgeese II's power core with his strike, and he'd reversed the motion as if he knew that suicide by Gundam was what the man wanted and he didn't want to give it.</p><p>It was fucking wild to see in a mech battle, and he admired Wufei's control.</p><p>Trowa, well he'd have laid odds that Trowa would go for Quatre, but that didn't seem to be taking off and now there was a layer of something with Wufei and either he was going to try and let Quatre down easy, or he was seeing if Quatre wanted him which was shitty to Wufei. One of his friends lost out either way. Maybe he did need to try and track him down.</p><p>He finished his cake, abandoned the plate in the hallway because he felt like it, and started back toward the banquet, straightening his uniform back out and putting his hat on.</p><p>He even bothered to wash his hands because that was probably not the thing to be spreading around the banquet hall. It was easy enough to slink back in - most people would assume that he had never left because he spent a lot of time lurking unseen in corners if he wasn't deliberately being centre stage.</p><p>He filched a few drinks, stole some more cake and looked around; they were in the no business part of the evening.</p><p>Which some people used to cut deals and some people used to make new and frightening social connections. Sally was easy to find in a crowd; she had no-nonsense military bearing, and no-frills either, which took him right to Wufei, who wasn't even playing games and pretending to be part of a unit.</p><p>There was something about the predictability of that. Wufei always stood alone, even with them. The other pilot looked up as he approached, giving him the barest of nods of acknowledgment which translated in Duo's head to him being happy to see him.</p><p>Like Heero, except the angry face he would give was actually really fucked off, rather than blank blandness. "Been a while. Thought I'd see how you were doing post crazy. And the vote this morning."</p><p>"I'm pleased of course," Wufei answered. He folded his arms. "Things are progressing."</p><p>Short and to the point, that was Wufei. He’d say in all ways if he wasn’t a bit shorter himself.</p><p>"The way you hoped things would go?" Wufei had used Zero and hadn't lost his shit; neither had General Manwhore. It had both made them way better fighters -- but why? What had Wufei seen in Zero?</p><p>"Close enough," Wufei said. "I am pleased my final opponent did not perish despite his best efforts to the contrary. How is the General?"</p><p>Huh. Man, he walked right into it. "Weird and fucked up, though this morning's performance was pretty good, huh?"</p><p>"He does have a certain presence," Wufei agreed. "What do you want Duo?"</p><p>He was reminded of them sharing a cell together, and the long periods of time when Wufei had just seemed to be ignoring him. It turned out he really was ignoring him. Heh.</p><p>"I'm sort of curious why you didn't kill him. You know." Duo shrugged his shoulders. He could start there and then move on to contention</p><p>"Because he wanted me too, and in doing so he would have defeated me with his death. A Victor in defeat," Wufei said. "I am not inclined to be so obliging."</p><p>"Are you looking for a rematch?" Spite, spite was a pretty good motivator, and Duo could get that.</p><p>"A fair fight perhaps," he answered with a faint tilt of his head. "I did not want to be... gifted his death, and I still do not."</p><p>Weird as hell. Duo tilted his head a little. "Okay. Maybe he'll be fit for a rematch by the elections. How've you been? You gonna go Preventers?"</p><p>He nodded sharply. "Mmm, yes. I believe so. Are you?" Wufei queried.</p><p>"Yeah." He sipped at a drink he'd nicked, eyeing Wufei thoughtfully. "Weird working with Anne. Une. I think Quatre... isn't."</p><p>"Really? " And there was the tension and reserve. Definitely something going on there. "What is he doing then?"</p><p>"Hanging out with OZ until the end." He just left that there. Just without additional comment, wondering what was going to happen.</p><p>Wufei seemed to be struggling with that. There was a clench to his jaw. "I see. He is... truly taken in by them then. I thought he had a stronger will."</p><p>"Nah, he's taken in by Khushrenada," Duo said, voice quiet, baiting. "So. Not sure what to do except hang out for a couple of months until we get our papers, and then you know. See if I can talk him out of it."</p><p>"Trowa can usually talk to him about things, " Wufei said, though it looked like it cost him something to say it. "Although, he reacted badly to him at the hospital."</p><p>"Who reacted badly to who?" He rocked back on his heels, watching Wufei. "Quatre said he thought Trowa was hiding something, or holding back or I don't know. Blamed him or-- and it's hard to tell if that was Quatre on painkillers, or if it was something real."</p><p>"Quatre to Trowa," Wufei said impatiently and Duo could tell he was wearing on him a little. "Trowa doesn't blame him, that is a ridiculous thing to say."</p><p>But he didn't answer about hiding something.</p><p>"It probably is, yeah. So, we gotta stay in contact with him," Duo said. "You know. To encourage him to... not crumble."</p><p>There was definite discomfort there. Yup, he was avoiding him, Quatre wasn’t imagining it. "Perhaps it is already too late."</p><p>And that was completely out of character for Wufei. What the fuck?</p><p>"All right. What happened?" He didn't touch Wufei, because the other pilot was likely to shove him just for spite and reaction, but he edged in closer. "I don't understand what's going on."</p><p>"Nothing important has happened," Wufei said and avoided his gaze. That had to be guilt, which was weird because as far as he could tell guilt was not something Wufei dealt with.</p><p>Wufei didn't second guess a damn thing he did, and just carried one, more fiercely than any of them had. "You and Trowa."</p><p>Wufei's eyes widened and his hand snapped out and Duo was being dragged into the dark corner. "You can't go around saying...things like that."</p><p>"Hey that was two names and a conjunction, and I can say anything I want," he protested, drink sloshing over his fingers. "And now I know I'm right."</p><p>"Duo, you can't say anything to Quatre," Wufei answered in a low voice. "He must not know!"</p><p>Was Wufei struggling with sleeping with a guy? Didn't quite sound like it. Must be struggling with Quatre knowing.</p><p>"He's probably already figured it out. Why is it so important he doesn't figure it out?" He was stuck in the corner, okay, but he wasn't going to act like he was stuck there, no he was going to sip his drink.</p><p>"Because it's...complicated!" Wufei hissed. "And everyone knows that Quatre has a connection with Trowa! And if he really has this whole strengthened abilities I don't want him rifling through my feelings like... like a thief."</p><p>"Then don't touch him. Because that's the trigger now." Duo shrugged his shoulders. "And maybe because it's complicated our Heavyarms pilot should talk to him. So you don't need to freak out."</p><p>For the first time he could ever remember he saw Wufei looking uncertain. "Trowa doesn't know the strength of my… feelings," he muttered and now they were at the crux of it. He tried not to grin because it was so damn high school-college drama. Wufei had fallen for his fuck buddy. Let angst ensue.</p><p>"Man, I don't think anyone in this building loves anyone else. Or ever has. So if you do, good on you. We'll find a way to..." Duo made a thoughtful noise. "Help Quatre. Separate of who's fucking who, huh?"</p><p>Wufei winced at that. "He would know. How can I go near him like this? It is a betrayal." Not really, Quatre didn't own Trowa, they hadn't been seeing each other from what he could tell, so it was just the breaking of a near universal expectation.</p><p>"I just watched Khushrenada sucking his dick like a candy cane, man. No one here's got grounds for throwing around words like 'betrayal'." Duo swigged his drink to finish it.</p><p>That seemed to derail the other pilot. "He is... sleeping with Quatre?" he asked as if he couldn't conceive of that. Maybe Wufei was pretty much the only one of them who hadn't slept with Quatre at some point.</p><p>And for an interesting twist, it wasn't 'Quatre is sleeping with him' but no, the other way around. Duo looked at his watch, and made a thoughtful nod. "Yeah, I usually get tired after I get my rocks off, so yeah, they're probably asleep by now. Yeah. How else do you turn someone to your side? Literally seduce them."</p><p>Wufei was obviously thinking hard about what he was saying, which was something. "I would not have believed it of him."</p><p>If he was talking about Treize he really needed to see the guy's greatest hits when it came to fucking other people.</p><p>"Yeah. Which him. Quatre, or General Disaster Area Manwhore?" Wufei was giving him space to breathe, and he appreciated that.</p><p>"General ...what?" Wufei answered nearly choking on that phrase and he really wished he had a picture of his expression right now.</p><p>"General Disaster Area Manwhore." Duo cracked a wide wide grin. "I have done a bunch of hacking since Noin let me into the OZ network and let me tell you, he's fucked all of his senior staff except Noin, and I have security camera footage that would curl your toes."</p><p>The horrified look on Wufei's face was priceless. "And now Quatre?" he half asked half stated. "This is not right. Perhaps I do need to speak to him."</p><p>"Yeah. Maybe you do. Because now Quatre. C'mon, I got stuff on my datapad if you wanna see." No one was really watching them, everyone was busy with their own shit, and he did have some older shit that wasn't Quatre. Security footage from house arrest in Luxembourg was grainy, no sound, and still interesting.</p><p>"Not here, " Wufei answered which again was not a no. "I need to tell Trowa."</p><p>"So go tell Trowa and meet me outside. Or meet me outside and then go tell Trowa." He lifted his eyebrows at Wufei. "C'mon. I'm leaving."</p><p>Half to his surprise, Wufei followed. He must be intrigued. It was easy enough to disappear off to one of the main spots he had found not covered by any security cameras.</p><p>He'd found the files on Khushrenada's own datapad while he was installing the translation program that had so delighted the man. They were meta tagged with names of officers involved, little intel packets on each, and he'd watched like half of one to figure out that the General really liked fucking. It was grainy and soundless, but he pulled it up, and started to play one for Wufei, handing the datapad over to let Wufei scroll around in the folder as suited his shocked and horrified face.</p><p>Initially Wufei's expression was blank, schooled but he flicked around and Duo watched Wufei as much as anything. His face drained of colour. "Duo, how many of these have you watched? If he is doing this with Quatre."</p><p>"Dunno, like half of one? There's one where..." Duo leaned over to look, and squinted a little. Okay, so the General was bent over a table and the guy had a hand fisted in his hair and that was kinda hot. Jesus, fuck, that was hot, the General reaching back to...</p><p>He watched the guy slam the general's head against the table, twice, hard, and suddenly his interpretation of the thing tilted.</p><p>Whoa, whoa, not what he thought… not his greatest hits, but more like Treize's greatest hit list. "If he's doing...this to Quatre, we are going right now. I need my sword. Or a sword. " Wufei said grimly. "Right now."</p><p>"Yeah, what he's doing to Quatre is... not like this? This is not what I thought." He could see it was more a struggle, the general trying to twist away, and a third slam of his head and he went still. "This is not what I thought. This is a hit list, not a curated list of best fucks..."</p><p>"This is worse than I thought Duo," Wufei said. "How could they be so... dishonorable? Is this what soldiers who he once commanded would do to him?"</p><p>"I dunno. Might've been Alliance, not OZ. OZ is like this snotty kid that was tucked into the ranks." Duo exhaled, and leaned forward to turn it off because his stomach was turning a little and maybe cake and hard booze wasn't a great mix. "So like the Alliance people Sally's repping right now."</p><p>"Despicable." Wufei most definitely did not approve. "How can they hope to be representatives of a unified justice system with this lack of integrity?"</p><p>Duo frowned to himself, taking his datapad back and feeling a little unhappy with himself. He'd been sloppy, too quick. "Yeah, I'm not putting money on that guy being a representative of anything for very long. I'm... that was not what I thought it was. Who keeps that shit?"</p><p>"Still, I need to talk to Trowa," Wufei said seriously. "He is obviously more...damaged than we thought. I cannot be selfish."</p><p>"Maybe we all just need to... figure this out like adults, on how to give Quatre an emotional lifeline as space heart or whatever away from a dude who has a hit list."</p><p>They hadn't exactly given him any other option, Duo considered. Because he was the one who got tagged by the General, they'd all lumped him in with him. If it had been one of the others, would they have done the same?</p><p>"He needs to break free himself to prove his worth to himself," Wufei said. "But, I admit, we have been lacking as friends."</p><p>Probably, Duo considered. Probably. And maybe he was going to get tarred with the same brush. "Yeah. Yeah. Seriously when your only human contact every day is..." Duo gestured vaguely. "Yanno?"</p><p>"Mm. Come on," Wufei said and headed off with purpose towards where their quarters were. He was silent most of the way, though knowing him pretty well he could tell if he was really annoyed.</p><p>"Okay, are we going to find Trowa, or are we going to get a sword? I'm confused, and Noin refused to let me have the issued sword or gun. I did steal a boot knife, which is pretty much good enough." A human heart wasn't really that deep in, and kidneys were squishy.</p><p>As Quatre knew.</p><p>"We are going to speak to Trowa. This is more important than personal concerns," he replied. "The sword may come later. If the General does not take action I will. This shameful treatment of prisoners should not go unanswered." Wufei's dark eyes glittered with resolve.</p><p>Man, he was fucking confused, but followed after Wufei, because at least someone knew where to find Trowa, so that would save him a lot of wasted time trying to find the other damn good undercover operative. "Okay. I, sorry, I really thought it was like a top fucks file, you know, because that would be... normal. He definitely had nudes of Zechs and Anne tucked away in there, so I just figured..."</p><p>"Assumptions can be dangerous." Wufei said and for a moment reminded him of Heero. "You might want to try not breaking into people's computers, Duo, for once in your life."</p><p>"Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, damage is done. And in my defense, he left it there on the table out in the open. Could you have resisted?" He was still going to have that hand in the hair, stretched out and getting fucked moment playing out in his head, except now it was hot and uncomfortable.</p><p>"Of course, unless it was required by the mission," Wufei said as they left the banquet room, and headed up the stairs to the gallery area. Trowa was obviously either contemplating where to swing his next trapeze or was doing some observation work up there.</p><p>Probably realistically observation work. Duo kept close, following him, and saw a twitch of motion in the distant dark of the gallery's overhang. It took everything to not shout to Trowa just to piss him off.</p><p>Wufei just stopped, stood and waited with his arms folded until Trowa detached himself from the shadows and approached them. "Duo."</p><p>"Hey, man. You got a second for a quick talk about Quatre?" He looked over to Wufei to read cues, then back to Trowa.</p><p>"I, yes. What's going on?"</p><p>"Duo knows," Wufei said, giving him a look that warned him to keep his mouth shut about exactly what he knows. "Things are...different than we have expected. Tell him, Maxwell."</p><p>Except he wondered what parts he was supposed to say, other than not to say the forbidden bit about Wufei being in love-love with Trowa, maybe. "Quatre needs us to be better friends, because he's trapped in with a total head case, and I think he's getting sucked in. I think that's the long and short of it, yeah?"</p><p>"Quatre has not responded well to me recently," Trowa said. That was practically an essay from him on the subject.</p><p>"We have uncovered evidence that Khushrenada was treated very poorly when he was a prisoner of Romefeller." Wufei explained glowering at the thought of that evidence. "Duo believes he has some long term plan to seduce Quatre."</p><p>"I mean, he did all that work in the plan, and it strengthened Khushrenada's reputation with everyone in that room down there because he's sliding up and making it happen. Quatre's plan, Khushrenada's slick style -- maybe he's not looking at this election, but the one after that, or getting wound up in the power that pulls the strings, I don't know. He's got Quatre talking about staying with OZ when we get cut loose, and he's definitely sleeping with him, I think to cement an emotional bond to keep him around." Duo stopped and looked at both of them again.</p><p>Trowa dipped his head a little, his hair shadowing his expression. "I see," he said. His even tone was something that Duo sometimes admired and sometimes hated.</p><p>"I'm not seeing the immediate link to what Romefeller did to General Disaster Area there as being important," Duo admitted, "but he's definitely got Quatre's sympathies. Quatre thinks he's great and misunderstood, and they've got a weird... spaceheart thing going on, psychic friends club, and man, you can just see the strings Khushrenada's pulling."</p><p>"Such a thing might upset the balance of even the greatest of men's minds," Wufei said and hoo, boy, mancrush the size of a fucking colony.</p><p>"His empathy?" Trowa asked. He frowned. "He said it was growing stronger. Perhaps it is that."</p><p>Shit, why were they being so passively resistant to just talking to Quatre? Guilt probably.</p><p>"His empathy is through the roof. Marquise touched him and bam, I came across them both unconscious on the floor." He wasn't gonna say shit about unbalancing the greatest of men's minds. That was. Yeah that was best left alone. "Apparently he fixed something in the guy. Maybe he's picking up on all sorts of weird shit with his empathy now."</p><p>And there it was the slight shift in Trowa's stance that gave him away as feeling guilty. "He was… distressed at the hospital."</p><p>No shit, in pain, drugged and then picking up on whatever Trowa was throwing at him.</p><p>"Yeah, so feeling all those hurt and dying folks from the battle was messing him up. Khushrenada was doing some... weird control, blanking it down thing for him. Not sure what's going on there. Quatre's making a lot more sense now." For a given quality of sense.</p><p>He probably ought to do what Heero said and really discuss it with him. Right now, Quatre seemed to be talking to him the most.</p><p>"Then we should talk," Trowa said.</p><p>"We need to clear the air," Wufei said. "If Duo is right about what he can pick up."</p><p>"Yes. Yes, exactly. You need to clear the air and then keep talking to him," Duo said. "I can't do it all, and honestly as soon as I get my papers I am leaving chateau crazy, okay?"</p><p>"We will find time to see him soon," Trowa sighed a little. "We handled things badly."</p><p>"Yeah. You might wanna hit that tonight, well, tomorrow? Because after that, you're going back to vid calls, because we're on a plane back to Luxembourg." Tonight didn't seem realistic, unless Quatre was the sort to abandon post coital whatever. He nodded to them both. "Okay?"</p><p>"Understood," Wufei nodded sharply. "We will make sure to do this tomorrow."</p><p>"Okay. I'm going to go back to our suite, and... you two talk among yourselves." He grinned at them, and made a gesture, before heading for the stairs.</p><hr/><p>The morning of the last day had actually been really fraught, and he had not expected it to be. It was as if every delegation had wanted to pitch their demands, particularly L1, who felt the balance of power shift. Treize had been steady, grounded, braced for one last day of the work. Goal setting clearly made him more upbeat, even if it was entirely artificial. It was a little contagious, and it kept Quatre going through to the time when the delegations were privately hosting their own events. It gave Treize a chance to gather up the officers in the OZ delegation and thank them for their time; it gave Quatre time to go see his sister.</p><p>He wanted to speak to her, he had missed his sisters but their brief conversation had made him a little wary. Iria was insistent they had a private dinner in her suite - which of course was opulent to the extreme, and she had brought their own chef who had cooked all their favourites from L4.</p><p>Not exactly subtle, but it was delicious.</p><p>"The food is lovely," he said in a lull in between discussing the doings of the various meetings. "I haven't had shish taouk like that since I was on L4." The marinated chicken had been one of his favourites, its spices reminding him of home and he didn't need empathy to get the move being made there.</p><p>It was not at all subtle, as he could imagine Treize smirking. "I know," his sister admitted, drinking her lemonade. "You've lost so much weight, I thought the European food might disagree with you."</p><p>"I had a poor appetite in the last part of the war, and because of that injury," he said truthfully. "I have been eating well enough. They have this wonderful restaurant in Luxembourg - the food there is amazing and they make a hot chocolate that is made of real swiss chocolate with whipped cream. On a snowy cold day it is wonderful."</p><p>She nodded at him, clearly deciding that was something other than an enjoyable moment he'd had. "So your captor has been kind to you. I'm glad to hear it. We would not have stood for it if he were not."</p><p>"I'm not sure I would call him my captor," Quatre said. "I chose to stay there. If I had been truly miserable I would have left."</p><p>He was capable of escaping if he needed to and fleeing but Quatre had known it would throw any chance of rehabilitation for any of them.</p><p>"Would you have, really? If it puts the others at risk?" Iria shrugged her shoulders, accepting at least. "The terms that we voted for are very... exact, and Romefeller in particular included riders we don't agree with."</p><p>"What do you not agree with?" Quatre had considered that the agreements could have been a lot worse; yes, they were treated as if they were on parole rather than exonerated despite the pardon.</p><p>"The requirement for you to contribute back to ESUN. What more must you give them? You're already all being treated like property."</p><p>"Iria, I am more than happy to do so," Quatre said. "I want this peace to succeed and to take root. I would do this anyway." He had fought of his own volition.</p><p>She pulled an expression that was reaching for understanding and failing; she at least wanted to understand. "I know. I know. I wish you would come home, though. You belong home."</p><p>"Iria, I appreciate your concern, I really do," he said and it was a thick cloying smothering concern, "But I am doing valuable work that will help all the colonies and Earth. Father said I was disinherited if I left and I left. It is lovely to return and visit but...I have things I must do."</p><p>"He didn't disinherit you. He left everything to you. It was just... words to make you do what he wanted. I think he admired you leaving to fight." She seemed a little reluctant to say that.</p><p>"But you don't think I should have?" Quatre responded. His sister wanted to turn him into a little kid again, incapable and naïve. He could see that.</p><p>She smiled tightly at him. "I think we would've been better off as a colony with your leadership."</p><p>"Our father was far better respected than his son, and yet the colonies turned on him," Quatre pointed out evenly. She was skirting dangerously close to expressing feelings that if he had stayed their father would not be dead.</p><p>"In favour of OZ. They turned on him in favour of OZ, and yet you... have OZ's favour," she pointed out. "I think you could have done something where he couldn't."</p><p>He could sense her concern but it was all black and white to her. OZ liked him now because he was obviously seduced, and he was going to crash and burn here on Earth so hard. "I was their enemy then." He was still surprised she had come out and said that. It hurt to feel her utter certainty that he wouldn't cope on his own for all it was masked in familial concern.</p><p>He needed to come home because he wasn't made for the wide world, it was as simple as that, a fact. He didn't belong, he belonged on L4, it was simple as that. "You would have come to aid at home. Regardless. Please come home when it's over, Quatre. You know where you belong." She poured him more lemonade. "I'll have dessert brought out."</p><p>"I want to visit, but right now, I'm not sure I should be the head of family," Quatre said firmly. "I fought in the war -- it is hard to leave that behind."</p><p>She sighed, and leaned on her elbow, gesturing to Faiz to bring dessert to them. "You were in a mech, Quatre. It's just not the same."</p><p>The jab at his emotions nearly made him gasp. "Excuse me?" he said, controlling his tone. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"It's not the same as a real war, is it?" She was all easy smiles. "And you had the Maguanacs."</p><p>He was literally shocked at her insensitivity and was silent for a moment. He had a righteous urge to push the feelings of "not real war" at her and see what she thought then and had to control the impulse. "I remain grateful that you were protected enough from reality Iria that you cannot comprehend how wrong that statement is."</p><p>"I suppose I can't," she shrugged, completely calm as Faiz set a tray of pistachio sweets down in front of them. "But shooting down automated machines."</p><p>He could not actually believe that she thought what had happened was like some larger than life game. "That kill without mercy or conscience. Did you think I was participating in some form of a game?"</p><p>"Not a game, no, but..." She waved a hand slightly. She just didn't believe anything he was good at was of that much import. And it reached that far.</p><p>He very suddenly wanted to be anywhere but there. He was a trophy, a plaything, beloved but essentially useless, quiet, soft, gullible and too vulnerable. The pistachio sweets nauseated him suddenly.</p><p>"I see." he said. He'd had enough. "I could show you sister, exactly how wrong you are. But I fought so I would take the battle so my family would not have to suffer and it would seem I was all too successful. You know nothing of anything I had been through, and you don't actually care to know. I can see the preconceptions, crystal like in your thoughts and all this dinner of yours has proven is...you don't know anything about me and who I am any more, and worse of all, you don't want to know."</p><p>He got up, wanting to leave.</p><p>"Quatre. Please don't be upset. We just want you home where you belong. We, we don't understand how the war went, but we saw..." She was thinking of the uninhabited part of the colony cluster that he had destroyed.</p><p>"Thank you for dinner Iria, it was lovely," he said politely, his anger like ice as he stepped towards the door. He did not need to see that again, he did not need to think about that. "I suggest you do a little research before we have this discussion again."</p><p>"Quatre..." It was wheedling, but she mostly thought he was throwing a childish strop, even though he was leaving calmly. He let himself out of the suite, and started down the hallway. Away, away from the weight of his sister's expectations that he was still a child who was going to be coming home.</p><p>It hurt in a strange way and he was terribly disappointed in her, his family right now. To suggest it was something easy, to dismiss all the deaths and the suffering. No, that appalled him. It was attitudes like that which caused the conflict in the first place.</p><p>Just smoothed over it, pretended the cost hadn't been great, that it wasn't so bad, that life was quickly back to normal. He had just fought another hard battle, and there was nothing to do to convince her that he had skill or worth.</p><p>He started to head past the larger gatherings that were going on. It was hard to guess if Treize was still with OZ or not, or if Duo had skipped everything and was maybe in the suites. He could reach out and find out, or...</p><p>"Quatre! Can we talk?"</p><p>He stopped and turned. Trowa... He smiled without thinking, and turned around. "Trowa, how are you? I'm sorry I was a bit incoherent at the hospital. Painkillers make me emotional."</p><p>"Yes." He seemed warm and Quatre had missed that. Maybe it wouldn't all be terrible, maybe he could reconnect. "I didn't know what to say then."</p><p>"Where do you want to talk?" he asked. Trowa still made him...want. That was probably the best word for it.</p><p>It was a gut reaction and a heart reaction, a pull, a need. "Back this way. We..." he felt a reluctance from Trowa. "Know we have treated you poorly."</p><p>"You haven't," he said immediately. "I... just miss all of you. I'm sure my situation made it difficult to keep in touch."</p><p>It hadn't stopped Duo, though.</p><p>"Your situation..." Trowa lifted his shoulders slightly, a bare shrug as he turned a corner to find Wufei leaning up against a wall. "No. We... unfairly associated you with Khushrenada." And that was... breathtaking. Given that he was with Dorothy and Romefeller, working for her, as integrated in as Quatre was with OZ.</p><p>"I... was no different to any of you?" he half stated, half asked, knowing he sounded a little hurt over it. "It could have been any of you that was in my position. Why, would you have thought the same if it was Heero or Duo?"</p><p>"Maybe," Wufei said though his emotion hinted he probably would not. "But, we were unaware of the difficulties facing you."</p><p>Difficulties?</p><p>"Khushrenada's state and the impact it must be having on you." Trowa was feeling out, unsure of what he was doing and saying, but he did want to help.</p><p>"I won't deny it was hard at the start but we have reached an understanding," Quatre said, reaching out to let his sense embrace them. They hadn't given up on him, they did care. "Thank you for being concerned though, I was really worried that, I don't know, you thought badly of me for some reason.”</p><p>Care, concern and...guilt, connection, Wufei's energy hissing at him like a territorial cat...</p><p>Guilt, and Trowa looked at Wufei and it felt like a sudden soft 'oh', as it clicked for Quatre, unspoken but tangible if he turned it in his hands. "No, we... I don't know how to help."</p><p>There was a moment there, where Quatre felt his secret hopes and dreams quietly pack up and disappear off into the recesses of his mind and he switched off his own attraction to Trowa to put the needs of his friends above his own stupid crush. That's all it could have been, just a crush, otherwise things would have happened. He could be their friend though. That's what he could do.</p><p>"You could talk to me, be my friend?" He suggested smiling as if nothing had happened. "Not avoid me because you think I would be upset that you two are together."</p><p>The territorial hissing from Wufei's stance dropped to shock and relief, tangible. Trowa didn't relax, though. "I... didn't want to hurt you." Which meant he knew that Quatre was attracted to him, which meant those hopes and dreams had been just a silly crush, a moment of musical entanglement that he'd let get too deep in his own heart. Maybe because he'd needed something.</p><p>"I'm happy that you are happy," he said and he was, but at the same time he pushed down the loss and he smiled. "You don't need to worry about me."<br/>He should have known better. He'd hoped he could be normal, have someone special, but maybe he just needed to give up on that.</p><p>"We're worried about you as friends. We didn't know what your situation was, exactly." And now apparently they thought they did, suddenly, despite that he'd fought with them up there, and passed the plan out with them.</p><p>"So, why have things changed now," he asked slowly looking at them both.</p><p>Wufei looked at Trowa and back to him. "Duo spoke to us."</p><p>Duo was trying to fix everything, and he didn't even understand what he was fixing. "He shared some of what's been going on. What happened to Khushrenada. He showed Wufei. I don't think even Dorothy knew, though someone has been picking off some of her and Sally's lower level staff, we didn't-- Knowing your openness to emotions, that has to be difficult." He looked to Wufei for a cue as if he'd hit everything.</p><p>"If you are picking up on emotion, it must be very hard for you," Wufei said. "If you know." He knew more than they could possibly know, more than he could even consciously process from that initial contact.</p><p>"I know," he said. "And yet, despite everything Treize is not who you think he is. He is no paragon of virtue but he is no different to us in the end."</p><p>Trowa grimaced, but Wufei seemed to be in complete agreement with him. "What can we do to help you?" Wufei asked it, still feeling relieved at his reaction. Now he knew why Wufei had been avoiding him.</p><p>He knew that he would sense they were together the moment he saw them and wanted to avoid that. He was also afraid that Quatre would fight him for Trowa - and deathly worried that Quatre would win.<br/>If Trowa had really reached for him, or shown him that extra something, then maybe he might have done. But Trowa cared for him, but could walk away from him. The intensity of the bond forged in the life and death of war had faded a little for him and all Quatre was to him, was something that might have been born in the eve of war.</p><p>"I just wanted to know you were still my friends," he said, giving them an easy route out of trouble. He felt inexplicably weary, wanting to run from the whole discussion and having to use his strength to force him to stand, and pretend and just let his heart break just a little. Salvage a friendship out of the ruins of fantasy and expectations.."I didn't know if you were well or safe and that...can drive me crazy."</p><p>"I'm sorry. We should have manned up to talk to you. Hiding was inappropriate." Wufei had his head down, but he was looking at Quatre, at Trowa. Trowa looked at him and he felt that...</p><p>That something, that warm intangible. "It was," Trowa agreed.</p><p>And there was the final proof. Trowa felt something more for Wufei than just a bond of close friends. Wufei's own feeling coiled dragon like around Trowa, but...Trowa was feeling back and it was like watching life emerge in a scorched barren battlefield, indescribably beautiful and delicate.</p><p>After all they had been through, the times he had comforted Trowa, shared himself with him, tried to heal that emptiness apparently it was someone else's fortune to reap the rewards.</p><p>That was...okay. It was all okay, he could be okay.</p><p>"I appreciate your change of heart. And there really is no reason to worry about anything," Quatre said trying to imbue every word with sincerity. "I'm so glad you are both well. I am fine as well, and I am on my guard so..."</p><p>"This isn't a situation that will last forever. We won't be... handled this way by our respective keepers forever." Trowa said that with careful word choice, and Wufei shrugged, as if to indicate he was fine with his situation.</p><p>"Is Dorothy treating you well?" he asked to half counter the implicit message there. He was being handled apparently - he really must come across as less resilient than he felt he was. Maybe he was deluding himself and the reality was he was being handled.</p><p>"Yes. She needed a spymaster. In a pit of snakes, the work is easy." He was watching Quatre; Quatre hadn't felt fragile or unresilient, but apparently as his sister felt, too, it was just too much to have him out in the wide world.</p><p>"That's good. I think I would have found that more difficult considering our history," Quatre said. "Though I got on well enough with Sally or Noin." They needed to realize it was a matter of perspective. To him, Dorothy would have been the most difficult to reconcile. The words she'd said with Zero in her head, laying the blame for everything on him personally... that would have crushed him, that reminder every day.</p><p>"Trowa is being too careful." Wufei said firmly and decisively. "Quatre, do you need help? Do you need us to get you out?"</p><p>"What? No," Quatre immediately replied. "I'm in a good position where I am to effect change right at the top of the hierarchy."</p><p>"Are you sure? Khushrenada is cunning. Dorothy admires his ability to make people do what he wants." The implication being that Quatre was one of them, that he was at risk, but Wufei scowled a little.</p><p>"I'm glad to hear that. Sally has let me have that freedom, too. The policies in your proposal will move us all closer to peace."</p><p>"Yes. He didn't have to distribute them so widely," he said and exhaled. "Please, both of you, you used to trust me in battle, please try and trust me to know if I need to ask for help. What I would ask for now are friends that talk to me, give me a sounding board, try to take my mind off of things. I wasn't sure if I had lost that with both of you so, if you want to help, can you do that?"</p><p>There was an overlap of "yes" and "absolutely", and Wufei nodded as he said it, looking determined like it was a mission he was interested in taking.</p><p>"Thank you," Quatre said and smiled again at them both, feeling his strength to keep up this level of happiness wanting to fade away.</p><p>"We better go," Wufei replied reaching casually grasp his forearm as some gesture of connection and he could feel TrowaTrowaTrowa... his Trowa, the sights the sounds the smells, lazy sex, holding close.</p><p>Not his memories. They would never be his memories. Quatre just stood with his smile fixed in place. He let them walk away, because he could, because it was easier. It was easier to let it fall away, that warm memory of being held close and cherished.</p><p>He stood for a moment and the enormity of what had just happened loomed like a tidal wave over him. He felt a building dark pressure, tight and choking, and icy fire in his gut. He couldn't… lose it. He couldn't. Treize would know and be hurt and... he needed to just have one bit of time to let himself be sad that the one he wanted had casually wanted one of his friends.</p><p>The roof was a good place to be alone and if he just closed down his link, well, if he was going to say farewell to a lost love it might as well be up where he could see somewhere he couldn't even call home yet.</p><p>He needed to see the sky.</p><hr/><p>The OZ meeting had been good spirits, and in grand tradition, no one really wanted the commander around for long, the commander included. It had been tradition once upon a time to sneak off with the inner circle and raise their own hell; even in Chilias' time as General, before Vingt had died, he'd been part of the inner circle.</p><p>Now he was all of the inner circle. He passed a few handles of hard liquor, easily acquired, around to the colonels to share or spike whatever they felt like, and shared a smoke with Veorg on the balcony. Thierry has passed him a few more, and a lighter, and said it seemed like that kind of night.</p><p>He'd handed Thierry a handle of good cheap cinnamon rotgut, and the laughter followed him back into the small banquet hall as he headed for the doors.</p><p>Time to head back, rest up a little. They had an early enough flight that staying out all night was a bad idea. Treize was happy enough to get back to his rooms and just try and relax a bit before Quatre got back from seeing his sister. He wondered how that had gone.</p><p>He'd been largely leaving Quatre alone for the evening, but there was a thin thread of presence sitting dormant, that he could feel. It was there, it felt okay, and family things were... complicated.<br/>Siblings more so.</p><p>He was almost back to the suite when he felt a sure sensation of being followed.</p><p>Either he was more attuned to it than he thought but he was pretty sure he knew who was following him. Stealthily from the sounds of it.</p><p>Duo. It amused him that the other young man was diligently trying to fulfil his conspiracy theory.</p><p>He stopped, pulling the key card out of the pocket of his jacket, and turned to look over his shoulder. "Are you coming in, Maxwell, or going out?" It put him in half a mind of a cat, the skittish snooty kind.</p><p>"Oh, hey," Duo said, caught by that look. "In I guess. If, you know we're flying tomorrow."</p><p>"We're flying tomorrow," he agreed, "though I think most of the plane is going to be hungover. Should be a quiet flight home."</p><p>"Yeah, alcohol and flying sucks," Duo said and skirted into their quarters. "So, uh, Quatre back?"</p><p>"No, he's still at dinner with his sister." Treize closed the door behind them, and shrugged out of his cloak, starting to work on the jacket.</p><p>"Right, right," Duo seemed a bit nervous to be on his own in the quarters with him, as if he was psyching himself up to say something. It could be one of many accusations he got from wherever he went.</p><p>Not that Treize was feeling particularly aggrieved after the last two weeks, but he was. He was allowed. His previously unknown daughter had tried to assassinate him, and every corner he turned there were ungrateful sharp arrows and slings aimed at him. He went to the liquor cabinet, and poured himself a short splash of brandy, waiting, giving Duo the silence to get himself up to whatever was coming next. If nothing else, he was a high energy distraction and a very good coder.</p><p>"So...uh," Duo seemed less certain than his usual confident persona and he took it that he'd found out or been told something that had rattled him. "You know when I said I hadn't found your porn stash, I kinda did. Except I hadn't looked at it properly until tonight so then I wasn't lying, I don't lie, and... shit, man. I guess that explains some stuff."</p><p>He swirled the brandy, giving it a little air and letting his hand warm the glass while he contemplated that statement. He hadn't been joking when he'd asked them that question, though Quatre might have thought he was. So Duo had seen his few kept bits of nostalgia, and the files he had lifted from the security footage after the Treize Faction freed him from house arrest. "Does it?"</p><p>"Yeah, I mean." He shrugged a little. "So uh, I guess you've been taking action right? I mean, I checked the records and some of them have disappeared."</p><p>Perhaps he couldn't comprehend that the bastards ran for their lives rather than anything happen. Treize took a swig of his brandy, and didn't repeat his mistake of the night before. "I haven't had the time or the concentration to hunt them down. Focusing on this." He gestured to the room around them, implying the meetings, "has taken everything I have left. But, good. I imagine I would try to go underground if someone I'd attacked had survived the war and looked as if they had the resources to strike back. But there are only so many god damned hours in the day."</p><p>Duo looked surprised as if he had to reassess what he had been thinking. "Does Quatre know? Because this whole psychic friends things you've got going on, that's… that's got to be a pretty big deal."</p><p>"I don't know what he does and doesn't know." He was staying on the part of the shared living space away from Duo, pacing a little. "We haven't talked about it; it stirred up older problems from my past that Quatre unfortunately fell headfirst into, and I don't..." Fuck. He made himself stop, focus, watching the pilot who didn't lie or run away, but who did sneak. It was the same topic he and Duo had hit the night before when Duo had backed away, in a way.</p><p>"And he's okay?" Duo shook his head. "Fuck, I didn't think he could deal with that sort of thing, I mean. He's Quatre and... he grew up with everything, protected, you know?” Being rich didn't mean you were protected, but Treize guessed he was comparing to his own upbringing.</p><p>"I own, I believe, currently very close to a sixth or a fifth of Earth's wealth. It didn't stop my mother from fucking me." He took a swig of the brandy. "It didn't stop the Barton's from murdering my family. Money doesn't protect you, it just gives you access to more expensive coping mechanisms. And I worry what reliving these things will do to Quatre long term, because I struggle to get up in the morning, and Zechs carries the weight of watching his parents die, and this, this whole building was rubble that they rebuilt to the old plans. We're standing in a bombed out ruin that's been rebuilt and some of us fought here for Sanc and some of us never left, like Zechs. What does that do to someone who feels everything? How do you protect someone from that?"</p><p>Duo sat down heavily, pulling at his braid in a habit that Treize had noticed he did when he was agitated or wound up about something. He looked for once speechless, opening his mouth and no words coming out.</p><p>"I don't fucking know what to do with this," he said looking down. "I just want to...protect him and everything I'm doing is ...making it worse. "</p><p>"He's very happy to have you here." He offered that information carefully, and poured a second glass of brandy, topping off his own. Treize approached the other pilot cautiously, holding the drink out. "Ecstatic. He's a very social creature and I'm not. I can't exactly see how you've made anything worse."</p><p>Duo pulled a grimace of a smile out of somewhere. "It's my specialty," he said, taking the drink and knocking back a gulp of it. "I've got the others involved because I was worried about what the fuck you were doing with him."</p><p>He felt the edge of his mouth twitch a little as he took a sip. "What I am doing with him?" And then he carried that thought forward to Duo talking with the other pilots, possibly sharing those videos around, and he felt his stomach clench, and set his glass on the table.</p><p>"You always have a long plan," he said. "General Khushrenada always has a plan, and it's been freaking me out, because the only thing I can get from this is you want Quatre as your pocket strategist." He could see it, but it worked only if one believed that he had planned not to die in his battle with 05.</p><p>"I will admit that it's been nice to not be completely alone." He leaned a hip against the edge of the table Duo was sitting near. "While I was under house arrest, I completed Epyon. I'd been building it on and off for three years, and done some work on the Zero system, mostly to model the future. I was trying to find a way out of the war. Epyon had no future for me. I don't belong here, we're in the wrong timeline. Or I am. I told 01 as much when I gave him the mech. My place in the timeline ended during the duel with Wufei. By sparing my life... I don't have a long plan."</p><p>Duo stared at him, derailed mid pull of his braid. He could almost see Duo slot this together, bits click into place. He knew how Zero worked, all of them did and he would at least understand what that meant. And he could tell that revelation was causing a cognitive dissonance that he couldn't stop between what he now knew and what he thought he knew. No grand conspiracy, no criminal evil mastermind, just a tired, hurt, struggling soldier like himself.</p><p>He saw his fist clench and his shoulders shake. "No, no this...I can't. You destroyed my home, you killed the only two people who cared about me! You and OZ destroyed churches! Fucking churches man!"</p><p>"We did. We razed villages. We put down rebellions in our Leos. I remember it well, the day Maxwell church burned. The attack on L2 was in... 178." He nursed his drink, as if it would settle the clench in his stomach. "I was a newly promoted major. If I have the math right, six, seven years younger than you are now."</p><p>It was clear from the look that Duo gave him that he hadn't consciously connected the fact that Treize had been that young. "You were a Major that young." He paused. "They were good people, the best people. They gave a shit about street rats and they didn't ask for rebels to take refuge with them. It wasn't their fault! And OZ killed them all, rebels or not."</p><p>"Yes. We did. Earth was losing the wars, OZ was a last ditch attempt to break through with a new technique. Bring them in young, train them hard, teach them life is cheap and goes quick. I was 12 when I graduated from the academy. We were the first class, and they began to shorten the training timeline after us; three years became one. We could turn out a soldier in a year, so soon they were 10, and 8, and I have no excuse for what we did when we turned L2 into a battlefield. My only concern was getting my mech company -- an entire company, 150 soldiers -- back to the moon base mostly alive. Our system is broken." He finished off the brandy, and he could feel his headache.</p><p>It was the truth. They had been indoctrinated, the soldiers of their company, their replacement families and he had been vulnerable to the bonds there. Desperate for connections, with a talent for making them, every single one of those men he knew, and then realized if they did not follow orders it would be a death sentence for them. All of them, because even if they could not be directly court-martialled, it would have been an express ticket to become the next cannon fodder.</p><p>"What the fuck were they doing expecting kids to do that kind of fucking dirty work?" Duo muttered. "Shit, I have so much rage, my entire life, I have burned with this. I became a pilot because of this."</p><p>"L2 needed you. It gets... worse, dumber in many ways, but I'll spare you." Treize was thinking about joining those hungover souls who would also be on the plane with them in the morning. He missed Vingt; younger, more brilliant, less hardened to the world, and wondered how much better things would have been if he had still been alive. "What will you do now that there is little work for pilots, and less need for war?"</p><p>He shrugged, his entire attitude one he'd seen too many times from soldiers unable to be a soldier any more. Lost, uncertain and lonely looking, still processing what he had heard. "I'm a fair mechanic, and salvager. Maybe that. Make sure everything we worked for happens. Help Quatre."</p><p>"You're a better than fair coder and analyst. You're selling yourself short." He was about to say that salvager wasn't really a target job for someone so skilled when he felt the thread... block. Not cut, not trailing off unexpected, not a blowback or danger, but the thin connection to Quatre went cold in a way that caught him off guard.</p><p>It felt strange after the last month and change, and he needed to work out what it meant. His expression must have changed because Duo looked at him quizzically. "What is it?"</p><p>"Quatre's cut me off." He leaned a hand back against the table. That was completely novel and it hadn't been distress, except perhaps it had. Not what he would've considered physical danger.</p><p>"...he can do that?" Duo said and he stood up. "Oh shit, the guys... Trowa and Wufei were going to speak to him tonight. And, Trowa and Wufei, they... well, they've got a thing going on. They'd been avoiding him because of that and we all know Quatre and Trowa, there was a whole fucking screwed up thing there, and Quat, he carries a torch so large it could be seen from L2 you know. Maybe that talk didn't go...well."</p><p>"Maybe it didn't." He shifted away from the table, trying to work out where Quatre was, where he might go. "We need... to find him. Cutting me off so I can't feel him was a very deliberate choice. You take the interior of the building, I'll take the outside?"</p><p>Duo nodded. "Yeah.” He got out his phone and Trieze’s own pinged a moment later. "My number if you find him. I'll hit my cam centre."</p><p>"Thank you." He headed to the master bedroom, grabbing his greatcoat, and Quatre's to carry, on a whim. He'd figured that Duo had cameras, though he would talk to him later, and ask him to delete anything indiscreet.</p><p>He might actually listen. He was trying to focus on where Quatre had been, where he might go if he were upset. He'd look for somewhere not covered by surveillance which eliminated huge swathes of the Palace. Assuming he had met Wufei and Trowa tonight they must have watched him, followed him to his sisters suite. He still knew enough of the place to figure out the areas.</p><p>Quatre didn't know the place exactly, but he did, didn't he? He had bits and pieces from himself and Zechs, and they both knew the familiar metal staircases that wound up to the widows walk that crossed erratically between sections of the castle. He'd liked to go up there and watch the birds; Zechs had liked to look out at the kingdom that had been his.</p><p>Or should have been.</p><p>The silence in his mind was just disconcerting. He hadn't realized how much he had adapted to that warm presence just laying there in his head.</p><p>He reached the top and glanced around, trying to get a bearing on things.</p><p>There was change in the design, upgrades; the walk had been lined loosely with metal handrails, that were more safety minded than maintenance minded as they had been back in the way. He didn't shout, just walked, scanning the roof, heading for a flat area he knew, and took a moment to hop over the railing. It was dark, but he'd be able to see him.</p><p>There was someone over to his left, or something because he could see a faint glowing red over to the right. It was something pulsing, angry looking and it looked like it should be flames.</p><p>He walked toward the glow, moving steady and curious, Quatre's coat thrown over his arm, still. Treize didn't say anything, just turned the corner of one gable, walking with care until he reached a flatter point, and saw Quatre flaring a hot, angry red instead of gold.</p><p>In a way it was a relief; he'd been waiting for something like that, proof of normal humanity as he walked closer. "Quatre. I brought your coat."</p><p>He was standing right on an edge, just looking up at the sky, barely noticing he was there. It took a moment, as if he was preoccupied, but he turned his head toward Treize. "Thank you." he said, his tone almost without inflection. Too controlled, he was used to hearing Quatre wearing his emotions in every word.</p><p>Treize moved to stand close to the edge with him. There was a bit of a breeze, but it was just damn cold up there, as he slipped the great coat over Quatre's shoulders. "The world won't end if you let it out."</p><p>"Maybe it will," Quatre said staring. "I don't know. I feel like I could rip things to shreds I… I don't even have a real reason." Mentally rip something to shreds maybe? Or literally. This was difficult to say.</p><p>"You're feeling a loss. That's a real reason." He fished into his uniform jacket beneath the coat, and pulled out the cigarettes, offering Quatre one.</p><p>"Trowa was never mine to lose," Quatre said the words as if he had been repeating them over and over in his head. "You cannot grieve what you never had. At least I keep trying to remember that but it's hard." He took the cigarette and his fingers were shaking, as if he was expending a lot of energy just to hold still. He just stared at it for a long moment as he said in a low voice. "All of you think I'm weak, I need protecting. My sister thinks the war can't possibly have been that difficult because I managed to do it, and therefore easy for all if little Quatre who needs protecting can do it." The red flared and the cigarette burst into flames that shrivelled up.</p><p>Oh, that was new. Treize leaned over a little to light his off of Quatre's, and he inhaled slowly after it had caught. "I don't think you're weak. I try to protect all of my people; it's not a statement of strength."</p><p>"You don't think I'm incompetent, liable to buckle. Trowa didn't want to tell me anything either because he didn't want to hurt me." Quatre looked at him suddenly. "I have spent my whole fucking life dealing with pain! Everyone's constant pain and now… I just wanted a little time to feel my own. Apparently, that's not something anyone can deal with, I shouldn't be like that, I'm never like that so I can't possibly understand any of the terrible hideous things that happen in war, in life because I'm too nice! I'm not nice, I'm...different and that's all I'm going to be!"</p><p>The aura of red around him flared suddenly and a wave of heat swept around him, like standing near a roaring fire.</p><p>Treize pushed through it, pulling up on his own control for himself, and set a hand on Quatre's shoulder, juggling the data pad for a moment to text Duo "up on roof". "Feel your pain. It's safe to." The roof tiles were ceramic, they'd hold.</p><p>"I can't, I'll hurt you," Quatre said, taking in a shuddering breath. "I'll hurt people or something, maybe..." He trailed off and it became clear why he had shut down the link because he opened it a little and the hint of intensity there was like staring into a nuclear reactor.</p><p>He reached back, trying to work through that feeling and if there was anything he could do about it with the pull of control and calm. Treize was thinking of the ice floes, the aurora, calm just before everything went sideways. He pulled at the thread to share that control. "You won't hurt people. Just let go. You'll feel better for it."</p><p>"Will I?" Quatre asked. "I don't want to let go if it doesn't." But he was cracking open a little, some of Iria's phrases seeping across the link, some of his memories of Trowa and thinking/feeling this was something special.</p><p>"Just let go," Treize reiterated softly, hand still on Quatre's shoulder. It was an intense hurt, sliding all the way back to his childhood, twenty plus years of the same treatment, and Treize didn't know what to do except to be open to it.</p><p>It didn't come out as an explosion, more a vent, a burst, here and there. He guessed he was trying to temper it slightly, not allow it full force. Quatre squeezed his eyes shut and ... allowed that hurt to flow outwards, curling shapes and light in the air around them. Treize could feel some of it, the knowledge that he was different, that no one could truly love someone so different because he felt love as easily as breathing and did that make it lesser? It wasn't normal, he wasn't normal, and why could he not have someone that was his instead of being the one to make his friends be happy and step aside...</p><p>Treize let him feel; let it flow without comment or remark. He smoked, watching the waves of heat, the sparks in the air, feeling the heat at his side, beneath his hand. He didn't know what normal felt like to reflect back at Quatre, but he did know what it felt like to give and give and be understanding until there was nothing left but a hollow void inside.</p><p>To not feel what most people called love in the way they felt it, but something broader and shallower, perhaps.</p><p>There were no tears, just a clench against a non physical pain, as it vented. The worst bit came when Quatre said in a very soft voice. "I don't have a home any more," and it felt like there had been a detonation close to them both.</p><p>Hopefully it hadn't been anything important.</p><p>"You'll have a new home. But yes, the home you held in your mind is gone." It perhaps hadn't ever been there, not really.</p><p>"My family doesn't understand me," he said breathing heavily as if he had been attempting to physically wrestle all these scenarios in his head. "I truly want my friends to be happy, but I ...hurt inside Treize." And then, and only then, he could see the glimmer of tears on his face, quiet and around them the red haze dropped as if quenched by the water.</p><p>"I know. You're allowed to feel pain." He leaned, using his free hand to wipe his thumb across Quatre's cheek. At least no one had ever insisted Treize be sweet and kind; he'd always been allowed to be upset in quiet.</p><p>Quatre turned to hug him; this time not to comfort him but to be comforted and there was a curious sense of balancing in that. Not feeling in debt to him for a start, and as Treize wrapped arms around him the link between them opened up again, but most of that pressure had gone.<br/>Then he became aware that Duo had found them.</p><p>He hoped Duo had missed most of it, but didn't waste time on it as he held Quatre and clutched him tight, a hand pressed tight against his back. "You're allowed to feel hurt," he reiterated quietly. They were very close to the edge, and he carefully nudged them back half a step from the edge.</p><p>"Quatre?" Duo sounded horrified, coming closer. "Man, shit this is my fault. I should never have said anything to the others."</p><p>"Family is complicated. It's no one's fault." He ran his hand against Quatre's back, stroking soothingly beneath the fabric of his coat, not letting go yet. "But it doesn't make it any less terrible."</p><p>"Fuck, family stuff as well," Duo murmured and came over to join in the hug from the feel of it. He would have objected but he could literally feel the feelings stabilise even more.</p><p>"Thank you," Quatre said with a huff of air as he exhaled. "I'm okay."</p><p>The last functioning military leader on earth standing on the roof with two gundam pilots, nothing to see there. He bent his head in, face pressed against Quatre's hair. "Feel like getting off the roof?"</p><p>"No falling," Duo pointed out as he squeezed them both.</p><p>"I'll bear that in mind. I'm a bit tired, so I'd like to go back, yes," Quatre answered and it was interesting he wasn't on the verge of collapse. That implied memory detaching was a bit of an energy hog compared to whatever this was.</p><p>"All right." Treize held him tight for a moment, and then eased up, turning to guide him back to the spot where he'd climbed over the railing. Duo eased up as well, but he didn't go far as they started to walk. "You'll feel better for sleep."</p><p>Duo was looking over at him, checking things were okay and knowing when not to run off at the mouth as Quatre moved with them both back along the route he chose to deliberately avoid as many people as possible.</p><p>Quatre just seemed very quiet and introspective as they returned to their quarters.</p><p>Treize locked the door behind them, to keep the world out just then because if someone wanted a word with him they could fuck off for an evening. "What do you need?"</p><p>"Just to be with people who actually care about me." Quatre looked at him and then at Duo, who ducked his head a little embarrassed.</p><p>"Okay." He usually would have dragged Quatre to bed, but for the moment he took Quatre's coat and then moved to turn on the teapot that the staff had given up and set on the sideboard to save themselves time, given Quatre's preference.</p><p>Quatre sat on the couch in their suite and Duo sat with him on one side, and there was a conspicuous gap next to him on the other side presumably for Treize. "Mm." He did seem to be relaxing more, just being in their presence.</p><p>"I'm sorry, man," Duo said remorsefully. "I sent Wufei and Trowa to talk to you. I mean, I found out about stuff yesterday and said they needed to talk to you."</p><p>There was nothing good to add there, so he focused on making tea, letting his mind wander a little. "Best to not drag hope out."</p><p>"I know," Quatre said. He gave a faint reassuring smile to Duo. "You did the right thing. At least they won't avoid me now."</p><p>"I'm sorry." Yes well. He probably was, but it wasn't his fault. Everything Duo had thought and said had a different intention and a different fear behind it than what it had actually been. "This sucks."</p><p>Treize brought the tea over, and nudged it into Quatre's hands, and then Duo's before getting a cup for himself. "Probably best to not do this drunk."</p><p>"Thank you." Quatre sipped the drink. "You didn't need to come and find me. I was just trying to cool my anger."</p><p>"Yes we did; we were both worried." He settled down on Quatre's other side, leaning back comfortably.</p><p>He relaxed visibly and slumped down, leaning into them both. "I tried not to bother you Treize."</p><p>Duo huffed. "Seriously, you guys are like some sort of pet dog rushing to save their owner."</p><p>Quatre smiled a little. "You came too, Duo."</p><p>"Yeah well, he stiffened up in the middle of our conversation, and..."</p><p>"You were finally talking and I missed it?" he said, sounding perkier by the moment.</p><p>"Alcohol was involved," Treize offered, tone deliberately light. He was very bad about not thinking of the thing he didn't want to think about, though, and didn't want Quatre to get a head full of it again.</p><p>"Just a few things I was coming at from the wrong angle," Duo said leaning into him again. "Mm."</p><p>Quatre was feeling happier, but his empathic sense was flooding in over him again. He was going to find out sooner rather than later.</p><p>"It'll be good to go home." Maybe a change of topics would keep him from thinking about the other estate in Luxembourg, or Duo running around with video showing the other pilots, which.</p><p>Fuck. Sticking like a sore tooth, and he shifted slightly, sliding an arm behind Quatre's back and refocusing purposefully.</p><p>"Treize, you're trying too hard," Quatre said closing his eyes. "The more you avoid it, the more it comes into your mind. Sorry. It's okay, I'm not fragile, I just... had a selfish moment."</p><p>"It's not selfish. It's the kind of thing Duo and I do all the time." He still tried to refocus, just because it would be a useful skill. "Maybe you can teach me to meditate. Duo, too."</p><p>"I'm pretty good at the lying in wait thing," Duo said. "I could do it."</p><p>"You could, but maybe when we are back in Luxembourg," Quatre said. "You need to come with us to this restaurant Duo, you'll love it. Oh and the hot chocolate." He was deliberately drawing up more positive things to think about.</p><p>"I'll have to come back to Sanc in a few weeks when they reassess Mariemaia. I expect the two of you to stay home and wreck the city." Not quite awesome weather for snowballs by then, but Treize went with it and shared it back. It wasn't what Quatre has been holding onto as a hope, but they could offer him little things. It wasn't the same, but in the wake of devastation it was good to have pieces to hold onto.</p><p>Duo seemed surprised at that, he could feel the reflection through Quatre. "You don't want us to come with you?"</p><p>"It's more of a test to see if I trigger off another murderous rage. It doesn't particularly require a crowd," he noted dryly. "It only took about ten minutes last time."</p><p>Quatre nodded acknowledging that. "Maybe I can try helping sometime."</p><p>Duo snorted. "Only you." he said and Quatre had started just toying with Duo's braid a little, almost absently.</p><p>It was terribly bizarre and also completely fine. Treize closed his eye, and let his head rest against the back of the sofa. "Trying to not show off the newtype skills in a mental hospital, so I think it's safer for you to stay away."</p><p>Duo was evidently guilty enjoying the attention as well and Quatre knew that. "They do tend to be a bit showy," he admitted. "I'd like to work on it in Luxembourg, get to grips with it. I don't want to have an outburst. I think it could be really bad."</p><p>"Yeah, what was that?" Duo asked.</p><p>Quatre shrugged. "Spill from a surplus of negative emotions."</p><p>He still hoped that Duo had missed most of it. "I think you're allowed to feel... angry, upset, miserable." Loss. Loss of hope, loss of normality. Treize inhaled, and let himself ride the feeling of contact and comfort a little, feeling Quatre's thigh against his, his back against his hand.</p><p>"Every time I have let myself do that it has led to disaster," Quatre said, sending back appreciative feelings. "I had hoped for something that wasn't mine to have. "</p><p>"Well, I wouldn't characterize this as a disaster." He didn't move, but he did hear Duo snort.</p><p>"You couldn't know. I didn't fucking know," Duo shrugged.</p><p>"Maybe not so much this.." Quatre said. "Sorry, I was thinking about my family again." He sighed a little. "I used all of you to replace them. I can't go back to L4 knowing what they think about me now."</p><p>"So, fuck em." He did enjoy Duo's ability to turn a phrase, but he agreed with the sentiment. "They don't deserve you."</p><p>Quatre chuckled a little. "They don't understand the war. That's a problem with those shielded from it. They cannot understand it. It means we can only really find understanding with our comrades."</p><p>"We could introduce your sister to my stepfather. He's got a desk job for me in his little branch of the Catalonia family business when I'm done with all this... piffle, and want to get on to serious things." He took a sip of his tea.</p><p>"That's fucked up. How did anyone not... feel the war? The L2 delegation got it." He could feel Duo's restlessness, filtered through Quatre. The lack of the L5 delegation had gotten it as well, but the number of people who noticed that one were bitterly thin on the ground.</p><p>"L2 has suffered more than most colonies," Quatre said. "L4, I regret has been protected by wealth and privilege."</p><p>"Skilled manufacturing, best source of what we all need to build and improve the existing colonies." From a socioeconomic standpoint it made sense for them to be neutral. Peaceful perhaps was too far a stretch, but decidedly non-combatants. "Would you have enjoyed what you would have done if you'd gone back to L4?"</p><p>"I was trained for it from an early age," Quatre said. "I had said I was happy with my disinheritance..."</p><p>"But giving up all that money man," Duo protested. "I mean you can buy and sell the colonies."</p><p>But what did one do with the money except plough it into things and accidentally make more money? "Were you actually disinherited?"</p><p>"Father said I would be if I disobeyed him, and I agreed," Quatre said. "But after his death I am not sure. "</p><p>Treize suspected he hadn't been. One male heir and 29 sisters - the odds were despite his real anger he would not abandon tradition. "I suspect he didn't follow through with the legal work, which means your sisters want you home as soon as possible so they can start spending again. Possibly they're finding their wealth caught up in your status, if you inherited." That was something he hadn't honestly thought about.</p><p>Quatre hesitated. "Hmm. It is a point. I have not tried to do anything. My status as a prisoner meant it was not possible."</p><p>"Well, you heard the verdict, " Duo said. "We get to go free, and do our community service and all that shit."</p><p>"After the elections. Clearly the Preventers is an apt... community service location if you're interested." That was mostly to Duo; he still hadn't spoken face to face with Anne about what she really saw for the organization. She was avoiding him, and that was fine.</p><p>"Might do," Duo answered. "Trowa and Wufei are going. What about you?"</p><p>"I am not sure where best I fit," Quatre said. "But it's a possibility."</p><p>"They'd welcome you," Treize encouraged, finishing off his tea. He opened his eye long enough to lean over and set the empty tea cup on the side table.</p><p>He was sending clear messages to Quatre that maybe bed would be a good plan, and the other pilot was aware of it.</p><p>"I should probably sleep this off," he said. "But I'm very comfortable with the two of you next to me.</p><p>In for a terrible idea, in for a hundred terrible ideas, but he'd done and enjoyed orgies, so perhaps his view was skewed. "I'm afraid the flight is still early tomorrow. Duo's welcome to come to bed. Or you're welcome to, I don't know, I'm not making arrangements on your behalf..."</p><p>"I'd like that," Quatre answered. "But only to sleep. And I understand if Duo doesn't feel comfortable. I'll go get ready for bed." It seemed like now the suggestion was there, he was eager to see if they would implement it.</p><p>Quatre stood up first, leaving him and Duo and then a gap on the sofa, and it was more of a challenge for Duo than himself, so he glanced at the other pilot in a way he hoped was non threatening. Duo shifted. "What do you think?" he said carefully. "I mean, this is a bit of a leap even for me."</p><p>"You take one side, I take the other, some kind of clothing on?" He half suggested, half recommended as he cocked an eyebrow at him. "I do get around, but I also have some issues with consent, so you don't need to worry."</p><p>"...Yeah, man, sorry," Duo answered. "Okay, it seemed to really help him so...okay." It amused him how much the younger man was building up his nerve for him; the famous God of Death uncertain and anxious. Well it would just be resting, and that was easy enough.</p><p>"It's just sleep. You racked up with your colleagues, didn't you?" Treize got up with a shrug, starting to unbutton his jacket.</p><p>"...yeah, but this morning I thought you were a manipulative bastard," Duo pointed out. "And now I'm talking about being in the same bed as you."</p><p>"Which does prove the point that I'm a manipulative bastard, if you're still leaning that way." He laid his jacket out on the table, and started on his vest. "Let's call a truce."</p><p>"With Quatre as the neutral zone? You're on," Duo answered. "I'll, uh just go get changed for bed."</p><p>He inclined his head, and headed into the bedroom to find his gym clothes to throw on; he hadn't had time to work out, since the whole trip had been an epic shitshow, and they were soft, comfortable. "I think we have an agreement."</p><p>Quatre's face lit up. "We do? He was feeling very uncertain about it. You are a master negotiator - you don't mind do you?”</p><p>"Not at all." He was torn between declaring himself a realist, or making some other smart comment about not having been too picky, but everything felt a little close to home and raw just then, so he instead sat on the edge of the bed and took his boots off, and then his shirt. "It's been a hell of a week. Two weeks. Sleep is welcome."</p><p>"I'll be able to move better soon enough and then we can go about fulfilling my promise," Quatre said. "Thank you for this Treize, and thank you for coming after me."</p><p>"You don't need to thank me. You've made a hundred bad situations more bearable by being yourself." He considered Quatre one of his, his people, and would probably long after the other pilot had gone and left for his next adventure. It was those people who left the mark, in the end. "You had your meds?"</p><p>"Yes, just taken the last batch," he said and leaned and kissed the back of Treize's neck. "Take something for your headache."</p><p>He relaxed into that, and twisted, sliding a hand behind Quatre's back to kiss the side of his neck, just briefly. "I will. Best to not unsettle Duo, though."</p><p>"Not tonight anyway," Quatre replied even as Duo came into the room wearing a tshirt and boxers. Obviously, he didn't usually use nightwear and that was a thought. Quatre's smile lit up the room and seemed to settle Duo in his decision enough he got onto the bed. He wasted no time in getting snuggled in to the other man.</p><p>Treize took his gym clothes, and disappeared into the bathroom to rummage up painkillers, and inspect under the eyepatch. Turned off the light, and moved around the far side of the bed, giving Duo a wide berth as he pulled the sheet down. Once the painkillers kicked in, he'd slip off pretty quick.</p><p>In the darkness though, before he drifted off, Quatre was pulling him closer, reaching for him and Treize went to sleep with the warm feeling of gratitude curling around his thoughts and mind.</p><hr/><p>Sometimes it felt as if the more he tried to help, the worse he made things for all of them. The worse they made things for all of them, so it was perhaps better to retreat after that talk with Quatre, even if his head was spinning as he tried to sort out all of the actions and theories that had popped up quick quick quick.</p><p>They were back in their room - well, Trowa's room, but they had been in it together for a while, before Trowa said anything.<br/>"Why do I feel like shit when he said everything was okay?"</p><p>"Because he was clearly lying." It was obvious, and clear, and Wufei also felt like shit about it, like they had been sneaking around. He sat beside Trowa on the little sofa, frowning.</p><p>"Quatre doesn't...lie." Trowa said putting his head in his hands for a moment. "But he doesn't always tell all of the truth. If he says he is happy for us, he is. That doesn't mean he isn't hurt for himself though."</p><p>Wufei laid a hand at the nape of Trowa's neck, petting the spiky soft hair there. "Everyone can lie, by omission or otherwise. I, I'm sorry. That was." Uncomfortable and wrong.</p><p>"I made excuses for not reaching out to him," he said quietly. "Too quick to believe anything that might mean I didn't have to face him and come clean at the start. "</p><p><br/>It was the most Wufei had heard Trowa say without prompting in one go.</p><p><br/>"All this time we were talking about him being compromised and whatever happened to him was something let happen."</p><p>Wufei kept stroking his neck, thinking about what to say. "There's... no evidence behind the innuendo of abuse Heero was suggesting."</p><p>"Only from us. If Duo is right about what has been happening with him, all of us have been hurting him with our suspicions, and mistrust just as much as if we were the abusers," Trowa said looking up at him miserably. "I should have told him about us from the start..."</p><p><br/>There hadn't exactly been an opportune moment. Just before the final battles? Afterwards when he was just out of surgery? When they were all being dragged apart from each other on M0-11? or over a datalink?</p><p>There had been no opportune moment, and now things had... festered. And to sleep with one man while pining for another, Wufei simply did not understand that at all. "We've been on the move."</p><p>"I know, I just... I don't want us to have to hide, and I should be relieved I don't have to," Trowa answered. This was ridiculous... did he want Quatre or not? One moment it sounded like he was regretting them being together, the next that he hadn't severed emotional ties properly.</p><p>It left him feeling whiplashed, and perhaps that was why Quatre had reacted the way he did. But he had been in an arranged marriage. Perhaps this was what courtship was like? But it was horrible. "You can't hold all doors open at once."</p><p>"I know, I just...didn't want to slam the door in his face and break his face if we are using metaphors," Trowa exhaled. "And I'm not being fair to you either."</p><p>No, but it didn't feel like his place to complain just then. Quatre had seemed so aggrieved, so deeply injured even as he had said soft kind things. "You could chase after him?" As he said it, he felt appalled at the words coming out of his mouth.</p><p>Trowa blinked and looked at him. "What? What are you talking about?" He looked genuinely shocked in a way battle hadn't ever managed.</p><p>It was strange to see him looking shocked. "If you're still, I don't know. I don't know what to do."</p><p>"Wufei…" Trowa reached and took his hand, threading his fingers through his own. "Wufei, no, I don't want to be with Quatre, I want to be with you. Is that what you have been so worried about?"</p><p>"Well, he's..." Wufei waved a hand to try to encapsulate it all. "Pretty and insistent and rich, and brilliant, so yes?"</p><p>"Do you find it so impossible to think you might be my first choice?" Trowa answered softly as he leaned closer, fixing him with his green eyes. "I care for him, but... things changed and then there was you Wufei and you are everything I want and need."</p><p>"I will never be the person doing... everything he did." He leaned in closer as well, closing his eyes for a moment. "We were always told to never compare ourselves for others."</p><p>"Perhaps I am a more selfish person than I thought, but whoever is with Quatre has to share him with the world," Trowa said and brushed his lips on his forehead a moment. "I want the one I love to be mine and mine alone."</p><p>He laughed then, and leaned in comfortably. "The world has taken enough from both of us. I like the sound of that."</p><p>"I am sorry for causing you worry," Trowa's arms were around him. "Please don't doubt my feelings."</p><p>"I don't, I just.." He sighed and leaned into Trowa, relaxing and tucking his face against Trowa's neck. "It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks."</p><p>"It has. And we haven't been able to be together as much I would like," Trowa nuzzled him. "Wufei… we survived impossible odds again, and I want you to know how happy I am you are with me."</p><p>"You're still here, so I think you're happy." He enjoyed the nuzzling, and shifted closer, enjoying the press of their bodies through clothes. Perhaps he felt a little guilty just then for enjoying Trowa so much.</p><p>"I am happy, happy with you," he murmured. "I just felt I had let you down with my behaviour."</p><p>Perhaps a little, yes. Wufei hummed, and pressed a kiss against Trowa's skin. "It's... feelings are strange. That's all."</p><p>"Yes." He became a little more serious about kissing in return. "It's not a language I am familiar with. "</p><p>And that felt good, when their lips met, familiar. Easy. "Mmm, I always wondered why they describe people's hearts pounding in stories – – it didn't make sense before now."</p><p>"Is that what you feel when we kiss?" Trowa whispered against his lips.</p><p>"Every time." He closed his eyes, and leaned in for more, lips parting. "Sometimes when I see you across the room. It's ridiculous."</p><p>Trowa chuckled and kissed him properly this time and again he hadn't felt like this with anyone in his life before now. Khushrenada had quickened his pulse and stirred his thoughts and confused the living daylights out of him.</p><p>It had been so puzzling, such a dangerous feeling, and almost a relief to feel that about someone he wasn't battling, to work and be with Trowa and just feel that flutter and then have him. He could have him.</p><p>And right now, he would take everything he could just in case something this good couldn't last. In his experience, it rarely did.</p>
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